


Dude, Where’s the Costume Party?

by starhawk2005



Category: Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, Supernatural, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: 2012, AU, Gen, Gen Fic, crack!fic-ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-31
Updated: 2012-10-31
Packaged: 2017-11-17 11:16:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/550961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starhawk2005/pseuds/starhawk2005
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel warns Dean and Sam that the real Loki is here. And he’s bringing an army. Cue the snark.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dude, Where’s the Costume Party?

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Чувак, а где костюмная вечеринка?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6303421) by [faikit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/faikit/pseuds/faikit)



> Beta: Many thanks to canyr12 for helping me wrangle all these characters. Sometimes it’s like herding a bag of cats. ;)  
> Disclaimer: Don’t own Sam, Dean, Castiel, Loki, Iron Man, etc. etc. Otherwise this so would’ve been the plot of the Avengers movie.  
> Author’s Note: AU set sometime after the end of S7 of Supernatural, after Dean makes it home from Purgatory (and I’m ignoring early S8 canon, as Sam leaving the life and Dean stuck in Purgatory for a year don’t work for me). As for Avengers, this is all based on the movie!verse. 
> 
> Written for karaokegal's 'Come As You're Not' Costume Party 2012!

Dean has been through a lot of crazy things, seen a lot of crazy things. That’s just about the understatement of the century, actually. 

Vampires? Check.

Werewolves? Check.

Ghosts? Sure, he ganks those before breakfast.

But….

Fucking _aliens_?

It’s so crazy, Dean just has to say it out loud. “Aliens? Dude, what the _fuck_?!”

Castiel shrugs, and Dean has to wonder if this is some insane thing Cas made up, while watching honeybees dance or spiders spinning webs or whatever other crazy-ass hobby Cas has picked up since he managed to evict Lucifer from his brainpan.

Sam, sitting on the saggy bed across from them in the dingy no-tell motel room, just shrugs too, and looks like Dean feels.

“It is true,” Castiel insists. “The last two remaining garrisons have been speaking of nothing else for the past week. A vast army of alien beings, headed this way. And their leader is already here.”

Yeah, that’s the other thing that Dean doesn’t get. “I know, you told us already. But really- _Loki_?” He turns to look at Sam. “Didn’t we already gank Loki eons ago, Sammy?”

Sam doesn’t even bother to shoot Dean an annoyed look at the use of the hated nickname. “‘Loki’ was the angel Gabriel, remember?”

“This is making my head hurt,” Dean complains. “You telling me you actually buy this shit?” Dean shakes his head in disbelief. “Don’t we have _enough_ problems? We just – _just_! - got rid of Dick Roman, and Cas and I barely got out of Purgatory. We haven’t even cleaned up the rest of the Levi’s…and now _this_?” Dean rolls his eyes and turns back to Cas. 

“Is this even our job?” he continues. “Last I checked, we gank monsters. _Earth_ monsters. Not aliens.”

“Dean, we do take out evil gods,” Sam points out. “And if this _is_ the real Loki, then…” He lets the sentence trail off, shrugging. 

“Loki apparently stole a thing of great power from a group of humans, and the garrisons think he will use it to open a portal to bring the aliens here as quickly as possible. If you do not stop him, many innocent people will die,” Cas adds, rather unhelpfully, as far as Dean is concerned. 

“And the angels are once again not stepping in because….?” Dean asks accusingly. 

Cas drops his eyes and looks faintly embarrassed. “They believe there are too few of us left. That we must look to our own.” 

Dean rolls his eyes. _Apparently, some things never change. Once a bunch of dicks,_ always _a bunch of dicks._ “Great. Just great.” He sighs heavily and looks over at Sam again. “Guess we’d better stock up on stakes….”

*~*~*

Cas’s teleportation trick gets them to Germany mere minutes after Loki is spotted there. The angel doesn’t stay with them, of course, because apparently whatever impulse led Cas to drop the pacifist bullshit routine and help them take out Dick Roman had been annoyingly short-lived. 

_ Whatever. _ Dean’s not happy about going on a hunt outside his own goddamned country, but at least they may have the jump on this Norse prick.

His good feelings die the moment they spot Loki in the open square in front of the opera house. Or rather, the _Lokis_. Plural. Surrounding a bunch of opera nerds in their Sunday best. _Great, just great._

“Crap,” he mutters to Sam, as they crouch quickly behind a bush. “Since the angels never said anything about multiple Lokis, I’ll assume only one is our guy.”

“Probably the one monologuing,” Sam points out. Dean listens for a second. It’s some bullshit about humans needing to be ruled and craving subjugation, yadda yadda yadda. _Wow, I thought the original Loki (Gabriel?) was an annoying dickhead. And what the hell is he_ wearing?

Loki’s also out in the open. So much for getting the drop on him. “I guess one of us will need to distract him,” Dean suggests reluctantly.

Sam rolls his eyes. “Let me guess, that has to be me? No way.” 

Dean rolls his eyes right back. “Fine. Rock, paper, scissors?”

*~*~*

Loki is pointing a glowy blue spear thing at an old man in the crowd when Dean walks up. “Look to your elder, people,” Loki is saying, but then Dean clears his throat sharply.

“Dude,” he comments as snarkily as he can. “Where’s the costume party? Oh, and Lucifer just called, he’d like his horns back.”

The people mutter in German and gasp, and Loki lowers the glow-stick, looking a little confused. “Who are you, mortal?”

“I’m Dean Winchester, and I’ve saved this planet from the Apocalypse a couple times.” He pauses. “Not to brag, of course,” he says as an aside to the people watching. 

“Point is,” he continues, “I didn’t save it, just to have some self-important prick like you drop in with your alien army and take over.” 

Loki points the glow-stick in Dean’s direction. Dean can sense movement in the distance behind Loki, but he keeps his gaze on the god. _A little faster, please, Sammy,_ Dean thinks to himself. _Stab the prick any time, now!_

“You know much, mortal,” Loki says. “More than you should.”

Dean shrugs as casually as he can. “Let’s just say I have friends in high…. _very_ high places.”

“Regardless, they shall not be able to save you.” The glow-stick flares brighter and Dean tenses up, though he tries not to show it. “I think,” Loki continues, “that I shall make an example of _you_ , instead,” and the spear's light becomes blinding. Dean wonders if he should go for his gun. It won’t kill something like Loki, but maybe if he can get him to drop the spear-

The next few moments are a blur. One second Dean’s trying to dodge a blast of blue light, and the next, the universe hits the Pause button and there’s someone standing over him. A someone dressed in a skintight blue suit and holding a shield, of all things. “What the fuck?” Dean asks out loud to nobody in particular. “Is it Fetish Night at the opera house or something?”

“Pick on someone your own size,” Patriot Smurf says to Loki. 

The universe hits Play, and things get crazy again. 

Fists fly, blue energy crackles, there’s some kind of small plane in the sky, and then some robot or something painted red and gold and playing AC/DC. 

Before you can say ‘Thunderstruck’, Loki surrenders to them, Dean watching the whole fight from his uncomfortable front-row seat on the pavement. He picks himself up off the floor, just as an equally befuddled Sam comes up to him. _What-the-fuck?_ He mouths at Dean, and Dean nods. _Yeah, pretty much._

But this is supposed to be _their_ job, and so Dean strolls over, ignoring Sam’s whispered objections, trying to look cool and unsurprised as the robot’s head opens to reveal a man inside. _Huh._ And here Dean thought he’d already seen everything.

“I don’t remember it being this easy,” Patriot Smurf is commenting to Red Robocop. 

“It’s not,” Dean butts in. “He’s Loki, the Norse trickster god. He’s waiting for you to let down your guard, and then he’ll try to fuck with you. _Hard._ ” Dean pauses and looks at Robocop. “Nice theme song you had going there, by the way.”

“You’re American?” Patriot Smurf asks him. 

“Born and raised,” Dean says proudly. 

“Who are you?” Robocop asks. 

“I’m Dean Winchester, and that’s my brother Sam,” Dean says, motioning back at him. “And this is kind of what me and my brother do, so if you don’t mind-“ He pulls the stake from his coat and steps towards Loki. 

Robocop grabs his arm. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Ganking the god, of course,” Dean says. “Can’t let him bring his alien goon-squad through. Your little cannons might slow him down, but this’ll do the job. Permanently.” He twirls the stake. 

“Wait, _aliens_?” The Smurf interrupts.

“Yeah, that’s what _I_ said, when I first heard.” Dean says. “It’s kinda been an interesting week.” He steps towards Loki.

But Robocop steps in and blocks the way. “Look, Van Helsing, nobody’s doing anything to Loki, not until he tells us where the Tesseract is.”

“The what?” Dean asks. _The angels never mentioned that – or did they?_ He turns and looks over at Sam, who is currently standing behind them looking…well, like a confused version of Sam. 

“That’s classified,” Robocop says curtly. “And believe it or not, this is actually _our_ party, so we’ll be leaving now, and taking the guest of honor with us.”

“And who is ‘us’?” Sam asks. 

Robocop is already dragging Loki away towards the small plane, so it’s the Smurf who answers them. “I’m Captain America,” he says, “And that’s Iron Man. We _do_ appreciate your help, but we can handle this from here, don’t worry.” He salutes them smartly, which reminds Dean all too uncomfortably of Dad, then turns and follows after ‘Iron Man’.

The plane roars off, carrying their target, and Dean turns to an equally stunned Sam. “OK. What. The. Fuck. Just. Happened?”

*~*~*

They get Castiel to teleport them back to their motel room in the U.S., though that’s all they manage to get him to do, before he mutters something about silkworms and disappears in a rustle of wings.

Dean turns to Sam, making a frustrated gesture. “OK, what the hell do we do now?”

Sam thinks for a second, and then strides over to his laptop. “I have an idea. We’ll do the same thing we always do – we look up the ‘lore’.”

Dean glares at Sam like he’s lost his mind. “’Lore?’ You’re kidding, right?” 

Sam shrugs. “If you have a better idea…”

Dean doesn’t, so he plops down on the second bed and starts cleaning his guns. 

“What were those two names, again?” Sam asks.

“Iron Man – which is kind of cool, if you ask me, even if the guy was a dick – and Captain America. Which frankly sounds a little Saturday-morning-cartoon-y to me,” Dean says snidely.

Two hours and six clean guns later, Sam sighs in frustration.

“There’s not much to find,” he informs Dean.

“Shocker,” Dean says sarcastically. 

“It’s not what you think. There’s information out there, but most of it I can’t access. It’s _classified_.”

“A government cover-up?” Dean asks. “You mean, there’s more information out there on vamps, ghosts, and werewolves, than there is on two _humans_?”

“Pretty much,” Sam shrugs.

Dean shakes his head. “Well, I guess we shouldn’t be surprised. I mean, that red flying suit probably is a military prototype or something.”

“Actually, no, _he’s_ the exception. His name’s Tony Stark, and he’s a billionaire who used to sell weapons. Then he got kidnapped by terrorists in Afghanistan, escaped, and now he seems bent on using his company to ‘fight evil’,” Sam explains, making air quotes with his fingers. “He’s claimed publicly that he’s Iron Man, and there’s actually quite a lot about him in the media, though most people seem to think he’s lying. Others describe him like he’s some kind of superhero.”

“A billionaire who builds crime-fighting toys. That does sound like a superhero -  Batman!” Dean points out sarcastically. 

“Yeah, I guess.”

Dean shakes his head. “This shit _is_ crazy…and why haven’t we heard anything about this before?”

Sam chuckles. “Um, we _have_. Don’t you remember me telling you about Stark and his flying suit months ago?”

Dean glares at Sam. “Dude, I kinda had my hands full with the whole Levi thing and saving the world. Didn’t _you_? Besides, why didn’t you tell me in Germany that you knew who the hell he was?”

Sam shrugs. “I wasn’t sure at first. We don’t run into military operations very often while on the job.”

Dean snorts. “Not if we’re _lucky_.” He goes over to his duffle bag and retrieves his flask. “Anything on Captain Blue?”

“Yes and no,” said Sam, turning back to his laptop. “Turns out back in World War II, the States had this U.S.O. show, trying to bring up soldier morale, and the main focus of the show was this guy named Captain America. Real name, Steve Rogers. The guy was a national icon for awhile. They had Captain America lunchboxes, Captain America comics, the works.”

He turns the laptop screen to face Dean, and it’s a GIF of an old black-and-white photo. Chorus girls, stars and stripes, and a guy in a familiar-looking costume.

“I’ll be damned,” Dean says.

“That look like him?” Sam asks. 

“I think so. Hard to tell, with his face all covered up like that, but yeah. Same get-up, anyway.”

“So, that’s the only official stuff I found. The rest is from conspiracy websites.”

“Oh yeah,” Dean scoffs, “those are really reliable.”

Sam shrugs again. “Considering it’s all I could find…anyways, some people on those sites argue that Captain America was also a superhero – or rather, a super _human_. That he was part of some government operation to create a better soldier-“

“Yeah, because that always turns out _so_ well,” Dean scoffs. “Don’t these people watch movies?”

“And anyway,” Sam goes on, “some people believe that because of the government program, he’s super fast and super strong, and that he doesn’t age as quickly as we do….and so that’s why he’s still around.” Sam pulls his memo pad towards himself, reading his notes. “I found some other weird stuff, too. Conspiracy sites claiming the government has also tried creating a super-soldier using gamma radiation, but that all it did was create a guy who turns into a huge green monster – their words – when he’s angry. And also a report last year about something falling from the sky and landing in New Mexico, and some people were saying it looked like a hammer.” He pauses and looks at Dean. “Sound familiar?”

It takes a couple seconds for Dean to put that last detail into context. “A hammer falling from the sky? Are you saying Thor is here on Earth, too?” He shakes his head. “Again, how did we miss _that_?”

Sam just shrugs once more. “Guess we were too busy dealing with the Levis-“

“Yeah yeah, us with our heads in the sand, trying to save the world – again! – and all.” Dean starts sharpening his pocket-knife. “Do you believe _any_ of this stuff?”

“What, superheroes?” Sam asks. “Why not? We deal in weird every day. How could real-life superheroes be any weirder than all the rest? Heck, Dean, a few years ago you didn’t even believe in _angels_.”

Dean snorts resentfully. “Yeah, and look how well all _that_ turned out.”

“You’re missing the point,” Sam insists.

“Yeah, well, ‘superheroes’ or not, they have no idea who or what they’re dealing with. I say you and I need to have a Plan B, because sooner or later Horny Boy is going to escape whatever prison they throw him into, and then the whole planet is going to turn into one big Aliens incubator.”

Now it’s Sam’s turn to scoff. “You want to take on the government, Dean? These-“ he checks his notes –“SHIELD people? The government and us don’t really get along, in case you hadn’t noticed.”

“Hell no! I’ll just settle for a way to stop the aliens, since I assume we won’t get close enough to Loki to gank him in time. We never do, do we?” 

“And how are we supposed to do that, Dean - stop an alien army? It’s not like we can ask the angels for help-”

“No, not the angels…” However, that does trigger another idea in Dean’s head. He gets up and paces around the room slowly, thinking, aware of Sam watching curiously the whole time. 

“What?” Sam asks finally.

Dean turns to face him, a slow smirk spreading across his face. “I have an idea _so_ crazy, that it just might work.”

*~*~*

When the shit does finally hit the fan, they’re ready. First comes news of some massive mysterious military aircraft-carrier-cum-plane almost falling from the sky (though it apparently shoots off a huge hamster-ball-cage or something, plus a huge green monster, if the conspiracy Twitter feeds are to be believed).

Then Castiel materializes with the real news they’ve been waiting for – Loki has been spotted in Manhattan.

Once again, they ride the Castiel Zap-to-It Express, though it makes Dean grit his teeth. With all the teleporting lately, he’ll be lucky to shit sometime in the next _century_.

Cas brings them to the base of the building where Loki was last spotted, then flaps off, as per his new usual. Dean barely notices, because he’s too busy reading the sign on the building. “Stark Tower?” He looks over at Sam. “Iron Man Stark?”

Sam shrugs. “Probably.” Something high above them catches Sam’s gaze. “Um, _Dean_ -“ 

Dean looks up, then wishes he hadn’t. There’s a hole torn in the sky, and what Dean can only presume are aliens, are already swirling lazily down through said hole. “The angels sure know how to cut it close, don’t they?” Dean remarks to Sam. “I guess it’s time for-“

“You two again?” someone interrupts them, and they turn around in unison to see Captain America, flanked by Iron Man and several people Dean doesn’t know, although he guesses Sam might recognize some of them after his ‘lore’ search. Dean can’t help but notice the hot redhead in the skintight cat-suit. _Meeee-ow._

But business first, he scolds himself. “We have friends in, well, high places,” Dean explains once again. “By the way, I think this is where we get to say, ‘I told you so.’ As in, Loki tricking you and escaping.”

Stark, still in his red robo-suit, scoffs. “So says the guy who was going to stab Loki with a damned _stake_. I think you’ve been reading too much Twilight there, Wincher.”

“It’s Win _chester_ , and don’t knock stakes til you’ve tried them, Full Metal Jacket. Besides, you wouldn’t know a real vamp if it started _chewing_ on you.” Dean snorts in disgust. “By the way, didn’t you say you were ‘handling’ Loki? Well, bang-up job so far, gotta tell you. Here’s a thought, why don’t you let the _professionals_ handle it?” Dean winks at the cute redhead, who frowns at him a little in return. Well, it’s a start.

Stark opens his mouth, probably to snipe back, but Captain America sighs loudly and holds up his hand in an attempt to calm things down. “You did warn us, and you were right. So yes, it looks like we do need your help. Do you actually have a plan to stop Loki, Mr. Winchester?”

“We do,” Dean answers. “Don’t know if it’ll work, of course, but that’s pretty much the story of our lives. Oh, and just call me Dean. ‘Mr. Winchester’ is my Dad.”

Dean looks back up into the sky, to see that the aliens, on their pod racers or whatever those are, have formed ranks. A tall figure in green and gold swoops in on another flying contraption, moving to the front of the army, and they seem to be heading in a slow downward spiral towards where Dean and Sam and their new friends are standing. 

“I guess some introductions are in order, before we get blasted to hell?” suggests a guy in black. He’s carrying a bow and arrow, of all things. _Oh well,_ Dean thinks, _to each his own_.

Dean nods. “I’m Dean Winchester. This is my brother Sam. I hear tell you’re Steve Rogers-“ Captain America nods and looks a little impressed with their intell- “and Tony Stark. And I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that the guy over there with the red cape and the hammer is Thor. Don’t know the rest of your friends, though.”

“You are correct, mortal,” Thor answers, “though how came you by such knowledge-“

“Later, Thor, they’re coming,” Steve points out. He quickly introduces the others – Hawkeye, Bruce, and Black Widow. “So, this plan of yours-“

But it’s too late for explanations, because Loki’s pod-racer lands a few yards in front of them. He dismounts with a victorious smirk, pointing the glowy stick at each of them in turn as he swaggers towards them. The aliens hover overhead, obviously waiting for the command to strike. Distantly, Dean can hear the screams of people fleeing the area in panic.

“And what is this? The Earth’s final attempt at resistance?” Loki laughs.

“Brother, please. Do not do this,” Thor tries, but Loki cuts him off with a snarl.

“Kneel before me and swear your allegiance, and I will spare your lives,” Loki growls. “That is the only bargain that shall be made-”

“Well, I hate to interrupt your posturing, but-“ Dean jumps in, ignoring everyone’s shocked looks “-this actually isn’t the whole gang.”

Loki frowns, and points the spear at Dean once more. “You again, mortal?” He chuckles. “Any army you can summon will not be able to stand against the Chitauri. Though you are welcome to try, if only to amuse my allies and myself.” He smiles indulgently.

“Oh really? Gee thanks, you’re such a thoughtful tyrant.” With a smirk of his own and a flourish, Dean whips the loose-leaf sheet with the summoning spell out of his pocket. Using his best incantation voice, he starts reading the Latin out as loud as he can. 

Loki raises an eyebrow, but otherwise looks unconvinced. _Dumbass_ , Dean thinks.

As soon as Dean finishes, the ground underneath them rumbles and ripples. A huge Devil’s Gate, very similar to the one they saw in Wyoming all those years ago, appears smack in the middle of the front wall of Stark Tower.

This one doesn’t need the Colt as a key, though, as it starts to whirr open immediately. “What is this?” Loki hisses threateningly, the blue light of his spear starting to brighten in a way that makes Dean slightly nervous. 

“A good question,” Dean hears Steve mutter behind him. _Well, they may be superheroes, but they’re still just civvies when it comes to hunting._

“That? Would be Hell.” Dean remarks mildly. The locks of the Gate twirl and mesh a final time, and then it opens with a crack like a gunshot. The entire door disappears, the roar and smoke and fire of Hell swirling just on the other side.

“You might have an alien army,” Dean continues. “But we have a demon one. And I’m pretty sure _ours_ trumps yours.”

There’s a ripple in the air in front of the Gate, and Crowley appears out of nowhere. “Hello boys,” he greets them. “What was the deal again? Just to be clear.”

“Aliens only. No humans or-“ Dean looks over at Thor. “Gods.”

Crowley glances over at Loki and the waiting Chitauri. “Oh well, we’ll just have to make do, then.” He smirks and snaps his fingers. “Get ‘em, boys!” Crowley calls back over his shoulder, and instantly clouds of demon-smoke pour through the open Gate.

Dean can’t help grinning at Loki, who is starting to look perhaps the smallest bit afraid. Even as the first ranks of demons possess the aliens, and turn their new meat-suits on their fellow aliens, Loki holds his ground, pointing the glowing spear at the swirling black cloud. He throws several balls of blue light at them, but it doesn’t even slow the demons down. Under other circumstances, Dean might have felt sorry for the guy, but today isn’t that day.

It’s actually over in probably less than ten minutes (not that Dean is timing it). Even the huge-ass monster aliens are possessed within moments, turning on their monster friends and smashing them out of the sky. Crowley, reappearing briefly in the middle of the bloodbath, directs a few to go back through the hole in the sky and ‘Have some fun’ with the alien mothership.

Through it all, the Winchesters and the superheroes wait and watch, because there isn’t much else to do. 

Dean spots Loki a few times, zipping around on his pod-racer and trying to turn the tide of battle a few times. But you can’t fight smoke, god or not.

As the battle finally winds down, bloody alien corpses lining the streets, Crowley reappears again and strolls nonchalantly over to Dean and Sam. “Well, that was _fun_.”

Dean glances around at the carnage. Crowley’s definitely got a fucked-up idea of fun, but since he’s basically their ally right at this moment, for once Dean decides it would be best not to say anything snarky.

“Thanks for the help,” he says instead.

Crowley shrugs. “You made a convincing argument, for once. We don’t need aliens moving in. There goes the neighbourhood, and all of that. It was bad enough when the Leviathans were throwing their weight around.”

Dean’s aware of the superheroes watching them, various expressions of confusion on their faces. Well, they’ve obviously had time to get used to the idea of gods – there’s Thor standing right there, after all – but the idea of demons being real is probably going to take a little while to sink in.

“Tell me about it,” Dean replies. 

Just then, two black-eyed Chitauri lope up, dragging a bloodied Loki between them. 

Unable to resist, Dean snarks, “Looks like you get to kneel now. _Bitch_.” He snickers. 

Loki glares up at him, but then quickly drops his eyes. Dean turns to find Thor standing at his shoulder, glaring darkly down at Loki. Crowley moves to stand next to Dean’s other side. “What are we going to do with _him_?” Crowley asks. He cocks his head. “I could arrange something special for him in Hell-“

“No,” Thor rumbles. “Loki will face Asgardian justice, Lord of Hell.”

“That’s ‘King of Hell’ to you, thunder boy.” Crowley smirks and snaps his fingers again, and suddenly the air is full of smoky black forms, sliding over and around the superheroes and pouring back into the Gate. The alien meat-suits crumple to the ground, dead, as the demons depart. 

“I am told that the alien mothership has been deep-sixed,” Crowley adds. “So we are finished here. Pleasure doing business with you boys. Maybe you’ll remember that, the next time we appear to be on opposite sides.”

The Devil’s Gate closes with a clang that seems to shake the street, and Crowley vanishes. So does the Gate.

“Um, Dean,” Sam asks hesitantly into the sudden quiet. “You didn’t make a _deal_ with Crowley, did you? To do all this?”

“Hell no, Sam, you kiddin’ me? I just pointed out to Crowley that if Loki and his fuglies were running the planet, that would probably not work out well for Crowley and his demons. No more demon deals, right? Actually, it wasn’t that hard. Crowley’s still sore over all the crap he went through with the Levis. I think.”

Suddenly, Dean remembers they have an audience. He turns to face the superheroes. “Hi there.”

Captain America is looking very confused, though also a little bit impressed. “Uh, could you explain what just happened here, Dean?”

“I could, but you probably won’t believe me,” Dean points out.

“I’ve seen a lot of things in the past week that I wouldn’t have believed in before,” Steve says. Out of the corner of his eye, Dean watches Thor haul Loki to his feet.

“Um, this might be beyond even _that_ ,” Sam adds.

“Try us,” says a new voice. Dean turns, and there’s a tall black dude with an eye patch walking towards them.

“Whoa, who are you supposed to be?” Dean glances at Thor, then back at the new guy. “Odin?” He laughs, but when the superheroes give him a _look_ , he shuts up fast. _Awkward._ “Sorry.”

“Winchester, isn’t it?” Eyepatch asks. Dean nods. “I’d say you definitely have some explaining to do.” 

_ Uh-oh,  _ Dean mouths at Sam. Usually they try to get gone before the law shows up. 

It all gets really weird from there. Well, weird to _Dean,_ all things considered. The nearly week-long round-the-clock debriefing goes well enough, considering Eyepatch – Fury – doesn’t believe in ghosts and demons and the rest. However, once Dean points out Thor and Loki are gods (aliens?) and use magic, that helps.

Besides, the Winchesters have reliable witnesses this time. The entire so-called ‘Avengers’ team saw the demons in action with their own eyes, right?

Once all that’s done, Fury asks Dean and Sam to stick around. Dean chafes, knowing there’s still Levis out there to kill, but he had enough back in the day of being pursued by the cops and FBI, and S.H.I.E.LD. (cool acronym, Dean has to admit) seems to have even more clout than they do. 

When he says as much to Steve, that there’s hunting to be done, he’s kinda surprised when Steve and Natasha and Clint ask to be involved. Fury okays it, even pushes it, so Dean and Sam shrug and take them along on a Levi clean-up mission. It’s Fury’s call, so Dean figures if any of the Superfriends dies, it’s all on him.

In the end, even though Dean still prefers working with only Sam, he has to admit that things go a lot faster when more people are involved. And nobody manages to get eaten.

So it’s _weird_ , but convenient, he supposes. Maybe there’s something to be said for being a hunter who’s _not_ emotionally involved. 

It gets even weirder when Fury finally calls him and Sam into his office a week or so after the Levi hunt, and offers them positions at SHIELD as ‘Supernatural Consultants’. 

At first Dean wants to laugh, but when Fury describes the salary and benefits – health _and_ dental, my God! – Dean stops laughing. He and Sam get to continue doing their thing, hunting things and saving people, without having to hustle pool or use fake IDs and credit cards, and all they have to do is help out SHIELD and the Avengers from time-to-time?

He wonders what Bobby would say. Heck, what _Dad_ would say. Dad was military, maybe he would’ve approved. 

Fury even suggests they bring other hunters into the SHIELD fold. It’s certainly something to think about.

“So what do you say?” Fury asks at last.

“Do I have to wear a monkey suit and drive a company car?” Dean asks. _No way I’m abandoning my baby. That’s a deal-breaker right there._

“Hell no,” Fury drawls. “That Impala is a classic!”

“Then I’m in,” Dean declares. Next to him, Sam is also nodding. _Sweet._

When they finally walk out of SHIELD headquarters as free men, the rest of the Avengers team is there to congratulate them.

It’s weird, yes, but kind of cool. Dad is gone, Mom is gone, Bobby is gone, Cas is pretty-much-gone, and they’ve lost too many friends and hunters over the years. 

Seems like they can definitely use some new friends.

And all because of freakin’ _aliens,_ of all things. 

“After you, Agent Scully,” he says to Sam, smirking.

Sam just rolls his eyes and leads the way to the Impala.


End file.
